Table Fellowship Startup 3: What Do You Do?

Or, sharing our four-part framework for table gatherings

Thus far in this Substack series on table fellowship startup, we have defined some terms and emphasized why you do this is even more important than what you do when you gather. However, that is to say, what occurs during the gathering is unimportant. It is important. So much so that there needs to be freedom to shape your gathering contextually rather than copy what someone else is doing. 

I prefer to offer a framework for the table fellowship gathering. Think of it as a four-part liturgy that can shape what happens during a gathering around a table, but it is not so rigid that it prevents you from discerning the needs of your community. But before I describe the four-part gathering framework, let me remind you of some definitions and get a little nerdy about cultural linguistics.

This series is about starting table fellowships, but most of my thinking and practice around this topic aim to shape Table Communities. You should review what I mean by that. To me, you can have a table fellowship gathering that does not form a Table Community. Still, you cannot have a functioning Table Community without table fellowship. The Table Community is a group of people with shared commitments to inhabit practices in the Three Circles. Through this shared life, they form a social witness to the kingdom of God. Call it the church or an expression of the church (or even a micro-church or missional community). I might debate the language, but I think you get the point. Table Communities are the minimal organizing unit of the church. Table fellowship is a practice. If this needs to be clarified, comment below with questions or pushback. Or just skip it and do your own thing. 

A house gathering typically lasts between 2 and 3 hours, depending on how long it takes to gather and prepare food, the age of the children in the group, and the size of the group. House gatherings all share these essential parts. The four-part framework for table fellowship involves 1) Gathering and Eucharistic Prayer, 2) Presence, 3) Response, and 4) Prayer. We will look at each one briefly.

Gathering and Eucharistic Prayer

We come together for a shared meal (I’ll share more on that in a future essay). To set the tone for the gathering, we pray something like the epiclesis (the prayer of inviting the presence of Christ at the Eucharist). Our prayer for Table Community gatherings is contextualized, but it could go something like this:

“Lord, we give you thanks for all that you have provided to us, for all of your provisions for life. Lord help us tend to your presence – to be present to your presence – as we gather together and when we go. Lord help us tend to your forgiveness of all things, your reconciliation of all things, your renewal of all things, your healing in all things as we gather around this table tonight. We pray in Jesus’ name and for his sake.”

Presence

The next portion we enter into is presence. As we eat a meal together, participating in the presence of Jesus, we learn to be present with one another. We ask questions and listen; we check in and offer our presence as an expression of Jesus’ presence with us. Quite practically, it is about learning to be curious and care for one another by listening. Occasionally, someone will be more of a talker than a listener, which may need to be gently addressed. However, setting the tone for this time by letting people know that we practice presence in this first hour by asking questions and checking in with each other. 

Some communities have developed this practice of presence around a table by following something we learned from David Fitch. We call it the Question Only Rule. In this, we ask that people refrain from talking unless they are asking a question or asked a question. This challenge often slows the extraneous conversation and helps us invest in presence during this time.

That may sound like a restrictive or harsh rule; after all, casual conversation does have value in shaping relationships. That is true! Casual conversations are an important part of relationship building and have their time and place. However, we remind one another that we are committing to two hours a week to carve out time and place for these specific practices. We will have lots of casual conversations as we develop a shared life together through more spontaneous or organized activities. Often, I remind people if they have an interest in those conversations, they are encouraged to grab coffee together. While we commit to this weekly table fellowship, it does not have to be our only gathering!

Response

This is a time of one shared conversation. We respond, usually to a passage of scripture (a reading from the daily lectionary, a text someone brings to the table, or even the text of the most recent sermon). We read the scripture and spend time in silence before speaking about how we are responding to the text. What is the Spirit inviting us into? What is being pressed on our hearts? What might this passage mean for us as a community?

While our conversation might involve each person sharing their response, we aim to discern what might be a communal response to what we hear. We listen and submit our ideas to one another for discernment, encouragement, and curiosity.

Prayer

As we begin to have some ideas about how we respond, we pray to God together. We pray for the needs of our neighborhood and for clarity on what we are discerning. We pray for ways we can engage friends and neighbors in the other spaces of the Three Circles. We spend a considerable amount of time in prayer. After we close in prayer, we clean up together. Sometimes, people begin making plans to grab coffee and discuss things more (people practicing their gifts), and sometimes, we head home to rest. In my experience, these last minutes often open up quite a bit of vulnerable sharing and encouragement. Be open to what God might be doing. 

That is our four-part framework. It is not too complicated and is not new. Simple table fellowship practices open space for the Spirit of God to work, the presence of Jesus to be made known, and people to grow closer to God and one another. 

Now that you have read this essay on what to do in a table fellowship gathering, how are you responding? What did you learn? What would you like to try (add or innovate)? Comment below.